Restoring Reality
by Snitchstar
Summary: After the war, Lavender is left scarred and disturbed. Will she be able to restore the reality she once lived in?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** **JK Rowling did not specify if Lavender Brown was killed in the battle of Hogwarts. She did specify that she was attacked by Greyback, and was severely injured, and so for the purpose of this story, she was not killed, just badly scarred. So thank you, and do not review that she was dead, because that was open for speculation. Gracias.:)**

**Disclaimer: If I was JK Rowling, I would be busy opening Pottermore so I could finally get on, not writing Fanfiction.**

In her opinion, Lavender Brown was not only one of the lucky few at the Battle of Hogwarts; she was one of the luckiest few. The lucky ones had survived the Battle, like Parvati and a lot others, but the _luckiest_ were the ones who were so close to dying, like herself and Bill Weasley (who happened to have almost the same situation as her). It was a horrible thought that being in that much pain made you lucky, but Lavender had her reasons for thoughts like this.

She had thought that by some miracle she had been attacked by that Death Eater werewolf, Greyback. Being on the verge of death had opened her eyes to the cold, hard, reality she didn't want to face. She knew what a horrible person she had been before the War, and it made her sick to even think that that obsessive, backstabbing, fake girl she saw when she thought back was even herself. Even that depressed, broken-looking girl staring back at her with a sad look on her face when she looked in the mirror was better than who she used to see.

In fact, she even saw a glimpse of all of this truth during her seven years at Hogwarts, but quickly pushed it away in her mind, believing it to be a figment of her imagination. As Hermione Granger, one of the people she was the most horrible to, cursed Greyback off of her limp and mangled body, she saw it all. Everything she had ever done. Maybe if Hermione hadn't been the one to help her, she wouldn't have seen it at all. No words could show how grateful she was that Hermione found the kindness in her heart to save her life.

All of her friends and housemates said she wasn't bad at all, but she knew the truth. She wasn't as bad as some, like Pansy Parkinson, but she was just as horrible in her own way.

In retrospective, some divine force had selected _her_ for another chance at doing good and fixing everything that she had done before. She was grateful for her other chance. She knew how difficult it was going to be to fix everything she did, but the guilt inside her was eating her whole, so she would do anything to fix it.

Lavender hated herself. She hated her wolfish face marred with scars. She hated all of the healing cuts and bruises carved into her skin all around her body. She hated her clingy personality and how she was so obsessive. She hated how she looked at people from the outside, and she failed to notice the true beauty and kindness that was inside. She hated how mean she was because she thought she was better than other people. She hated how jealous she got over everything, and even more than that, how she responded to that jealousy: with hurtful words and gossip. Lavender hated every possible inch to hate of herself. She hated herself inside and out.

After a long time of thinking, she decided that she was a victim, and rightfully so. No amount of horribleness would change that fact. She hated to admit it to herself, but she was also the perpetrator. She had done bad things, and she was going to fix them, no matter what the cost. This idea gave her a weird sense of security, but didn't stop her from hating herself, and slowly falling into a dark depression.

**A/N 2:** **I honestly have no idea where I am going with this story, but I have basic ideas. I'm guessing from here the story is probably going to be about 10 chapters, but it might get longer, but not shorter. There **_**will **_**be dialogue and a plot, but this chapter was just warming up and giving a back story to my story. I'm admitting that before this, Lavender was probably my least favorite character. Writing from her view sort of makes me understand her a bit more, and she's growing on me. So, I know this is expected, but pleeeasseee review! It makes me super happy!:)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: If I was JK Rowling and had the rights to Harry Potter, I would take my billions of dollars and put it to good use by buying myself a ferret and a new Gryffindor tie because my dad took it away.**

**AN: Sorry for the delay in updating, I was banned from the Internet for a week and addicted to reading The Hunger Games. (I'm almost done, thanks for asking.) Also, THIS IS REVISED. If you were on story alert from the beginning, you should go back and re-read this; I added some important details I forgot. Thank you!**

Without warning, a slightly wolfish-looking face bared its teeth in a sort of smile like a dog about to jump on his prey. Finding this slightly confusing, Lavender pulled out her wand, and with this new threat, he pounced. His large figure obscured the mix of red and green sparks flying around the Great Hall beyond the hell that she was going through. Without warning, he bared his teeth and plunged for the first bite. With each tearing noise, Lavender could feel herself dying. All the strength she could muster could not shake Greyback off of her. Each bite sank deeper into her flesh. Lavender waited for Hermione to come, like she was supposed to. She didn't come, and she couldn't blame her. This is what should have happened. She should have died. Nobody should have saved her. Greyback lifted his face and grinned his evil, wolfish grin. This was it: she was going to die…

Lavender awoke with a start late at night. With a shaking hand, she quickly grabbed her wand from next to her bed.

"Lumos," she whispered, as to not wake her father.

She sat in her room, shaking. She had nobody, no friends, to calm her down when she had dreams like this. Her father was an option, but he wouldn't understand. No one could understand. Slowly, she lifted her shaking hands to her scarred face, and started to sob. She was never strong, like Ron's little sister, Ginny. She couldn't hide her tears. Under her fingers, she felt the long and unsightly scars left there, getting moist from her tears. The skin was damaged and felt different compared to the smoother skin that lay in between the scars. Slowly, Lavender calmed herself down and rested her head against the pillow.

She never was good at asking for help. She ended up crying her eyes out and denying anything was wrong at most of the times. She found it easier in a way, to get through things by herself. It was more helpful with somebody by your side, but Lavender was convinced she didn't need anybody.

She shut her eyes, and slowly drifted off into a troubled sleep, a few blurred images of Greyback showing in her mind for the rest of the night.

Light streamed through the windows of the bedroom she had inhabited since 7 years previous, when she had received her letter to Hogwarts. It had been only a week since the battle. Reminiscing on her dreams slightly, Lavender let out a deep shudder and slowly inched herself out of her bed. As she was close as she possibly could be to the edge, she swung her feet to the side onto the floor, with a blow lacking enthusiasm in all forms.

Lavender walked slowly to the door, avoiding all mirrors that lay shattered from various attempts to destroy them. When she reached the door, she slowly unlocked it. She had locked it as a final attempt to get her father to stop trying to talk to her. She loved her dad, she truly did, but she didn't want to talk to him and didn't even know what to say when she did want to, so she just avoided him. When it came to the simple things, she always did what was easy and not right. She was brave, bu it took some time to get the bravery out of her. He could unlock it with the utmost easiness, but he got the locked door message from his daughter that she needed some time.

She could only imagine what she was making her father go through. He had nobody but her. Death Eaters killed her mother while she was in school, and she was an only child who refused his presence. Lavender understood how everybody wants to be the most important person to somebody, to be there when they cried, to hold them and reassure them that everything would be alright. She understood that that was what her father wanted to be for her, but she wasn't ready to let him.

The door swung open, and she slowly tiptoed across the hallway to the bathroom. Lavender turned on the shower faucet and undressed. She climbed into the tub and stood there for quite some time, letting the warm water fall and reach her slightly open wounds. She stood there for quite some time, lost in thought.

Eventually, she turned off the faucet. She grabbed a towel, put it on, and made her way across the flat back to her bedroom. As she was near to her bedroom, she looked to her side, and saw her father standing there. He stared at her with eyes filled with worry and regret. He looked in her eyes directly with his, and said with the utmost seriousness, in tone alien to him, a jocular man:

"Lavender, I _need_ to talk to you, no excuses."

**AN: Oohhhhhh.. a cliffie. Sort of. I noticed when the chapters were published they were really short, so I'll make an attempt at having longer chapters. Apparently 3 pages condenses to the whole screen on fanfiction.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to all who reviewed. You rule. It really means allot. I know all of the writers say that, but it's true. *****Casts imperius curse* ****Review! You're under the Impirius curse. You have no choice. And you can put constructive criticism, too. I like it.**

**Disclaimer: In my dreams. Literally. **

Eventually, she turned off the faucet. She grabbed a towel, put it on, and made her way across the flat back to her bedroom. As she was near to her bedroom, she looked to her side, and saw her father standing there. He stared at her with eyes filled with worry and regret. He looked in her eyes directly with his, and said with the utmost seriousness, in tone alien to him, a jocular man:

"Lavender, I _need_ to talk to you, no excuses."

Lavender's heart began to beat faster. She didn't want her dad to think she was weak; she wanted to be strong. She made an effort to hide the particularly gruesome scars on her arms, even though it didn't matter to her dad. He still loved her just the same. Her eyes grew wide and she began to choke on her own words.

"But- but- but, I'm not dressed," Lavender said, beckoning her hand to the towel she was wearing. It was a lame excuse, but it was entirely true.

"Okay, Lavender. Get dressed, and I'm waiting for you out here. Don't take your time. There's no way you're going to get out of this," He responded with utmost determination.

Lavender nodded and slipped into her room. Ignoring her father's last request, she moved slowly, with the same unenthusiastic motions she did earlier. She slipped on a fresh new pair of pajamas, because she surely wasn't going to leave this house anytime soon.

She walked back to the door, and opened it. She had a small hope that her father had left and they would postpone the conversation for later, but there he was, standing in the exact same position she had left him in.

Her father took her hand and led her to the kitchen table. He sat her down and began to make a cup of hot chocolate, just like he did when she was little. He handed a mug to her, took one for himself then took his place directly across from her.

"Blimey, Lavender. I don't know where to start. I've never been great at speeches; you know that. But Lav, I'm going to start by saying, I love you. You're my daughter and no amount of wolfish features you have, bloody steaks you eat or scars on your face could change that," he said.

Lavender took a deep breath and began:

"Daddy, I love you too. And I'm fine. I was just a little upset, that's all. I'm alright now."

"Lavender, do alright people lock themselves in their rooms for five days? Do alright people cry on and on and on? Do alright people break all the mirrors in their bedrooms? Do alright people not speak to anybody for a week? Do alright people refuse to eat for _five _days? Do alright people stand across from their fathers, shaking, when lie to their face? Do they?"

Lavender looked up. "I- that's not true! How do you know about anything that's happened?"

Her father sighed. "Lavender, how stupid do you think I am? Do you not think about how I'm worried about you? I've sat outside your room for days, trying to get hints at what you've been doing. I've heard the tears. I heard the breaking mirrors. I miss you. The you before all of this happened."

"Trust me, daddy. It would be best to try and get rid of the old Lavender, not miss her."

"Lavender! What's wrong? Why do you hate yourself so much? Do you miss your mother? Do you wish Greyback had never attacked you? The only way for us to fix it is if you tell me!" he said forcefully.

Tears quickly began to flow down her cheeks. One came and the rest followed. So much for being strong. She couldn't be strong if she were Harry Potter himself. It wasn't as if the tears were alien to her. The past few days, it was a miracle if her face didn't look like a river. She was just ashamed she shed them right in front of her father's face.

Her father suddenly had a look of regret on his face. He didn't want to make his daughter cry, no father did. He loved her with all his heart.

"Lav, come here," he said, in a calm tone, opening his arms, gesturing for her to come and lay in them.

She stood up and hugged her father. They hadn't sat like that since she was seven and had nightmares, mostly about bloody eyeballs, which turned out to be her boggart in third year. She realized how much she missed him. She wanted to see him so bad during seventh year, when every thing was dark and abusive. She wanted to curl up in his arms and cry. She wanted him to help her after she had gotten tortured, but he couldn't. So now, she wanted to tell him the truth, but she wanted to solve her problems herself. She decided on the easiest route, to tell him the truth, just not entirely.

When she had cried all her tears out, she whispered, "I just miss mum so much."

"Lavender, so do I. I miss her everyday, but I know that she's better off then where we are. She's in heaven, with Grandmum and all of your friends. There's no pain, no Death Eaters, she's happy."

Lavender didn't reply, so with an afterthought he added, "And we're here, in a sad world were there's war that takes away people we love. We're here with sickness and death and despair. We're in a world were _my_ baby girl can be attacked by a werewolf and still believe she's not worth anything and refuse to leave the house."

Lavender looked up at those words. They gave her a temporary feeling of that things would get better, something she didn't feel for five days. The feeling eventually went away, for it would take much more than these words to repair the mess that she had become. She sat there in her father's arms, for a few more minutes, burying her face in his shirt, letting tears slip, sniffling occasionally.

"Lavender, I don't want you to think about killing yourself, using the Cruciatus curse or cutting yourself. I want you to deal with your pain with hope There's always hope under everything, you just have to keep digging long enough to find it."

"Don't worry dad. I would never kill myself; I wouldn't do that to you. For the cutting, I think I already have enough scars for a lifetime. I've had enough pain. I'll just stay numb for a while."

"You know, Lav, that week you were in St. Mungo's unconscious was just as hard as me as it was on you," Her dad said.

"Really?" she sniffled.

"Really. Lav, I love you, and watching you lay there, cold and dead looking, was probably the worst thing I'd ever had to see in my life. I didn't know if you were going to live or die. There were a billion questions I needed to be answered and nobody could answer them."

"Daddy?" Lavender asked.

"Yes?"

"Do you think you could tell me what happened in St. Mungo's? Or what happened after I was unconscious? I really want to know."

He thought about it for a moment and responded, "Maybe, one day, when you feel better and everything is okay again, I'll tell you."

"Thank you," she said slowly and softly.

He nodded briefly. He didn't want to press the subject. Telling her all the details of that horrible day would be quite hard for her, and she didn't need anything else to be difficult for quite a while. Lavender got up, wiped the remaining tears from her face, and turned to her father.

"Thanks, daddy. I really needed this. I love you," she said as she turned to go. She was halfway through the door when her dad called her.

"Lavender?"

She turned and faced him. "Yes?" She responded.

"Professor McGonagall asked me if we would like to go to Hogwarts and help rebuild. It was pretty broken last I saw it. One war can really bring a place down," he said, with a hint of his usual humor.

Lavender couldn't go back there. Not with the bad memories, the rubble lying there, the blood on the walls, not with the mysteries of the war lying there. Not with the death. Death, death, death. These words rang in Lavender's ears and she knew her answer. She looked in her father's eyes, and she saw hope. He looked optimistic that their talk had changed everything completely, something she couldn't live with changing. She hadn't seen that look for a long time, and she wasn't going to change it.

"I'm not sure yet, daddy. I'll think about it," she said halfheartedly as she turned away, back to the dangerous sanctuary of her bedroom.

**My computer ran out of battery when I was almost finished with this, and I almost literally had a heart attack. Luckily, my computer recovered the file! Anyways, I hope this chapter was decent length. If there are any errors, please point them out and review! Remember, you're still Impiriused.**

**I also want to mention that I'm not going to make Seamus the only person that's going to help Lavender, because that's not real, he can't be the ONLY person that helps her. Her dad is just as important, even if it's a Seamus/Lavender fic.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: My fanfiction won't allow me to publish another chapter, but I have a lot. I'll try to space them out. Sorry I haven't published for a while, I have school, sports and drama. Never fear! I have lots of chapters planned. I noticed some plot bunnies which I will fix as the story progresses.**

**I am extremely sorry about the publishing, my fanfiction account wouldn't work!**

**This chapter is based loosely on the song Re-Education (Through Labor) by Rise Against and Pain by Three Days Grace. Anyways, on to the story!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter.**

**- 8888-**

_Summary of Last Chapter:_

_Lavender has a heart-to resistant heart with her father. He tells her how he feels, and she didn't fully return the favor. They end their talk with a question, 'do you want to go back to help fix Hogwarts?' It wouldn't seem like a big deal to him, but it is to her._

**-8888-**

Lavender sat on the floor, leaning her back onto the foot of her bed. She hugged her knees to her chest, a way of sitting that she only really began using lately. It helped, in a way, to sit like that. It made her feel less lonely. She didn't have or want anyone to hold on to, so she forced herself into this cocoon she'd been in for quite a while. It was a week since she had that talk with her father.

Lavender had spoken to him, however. It was the occasional 'Hello,' as they crossed paths in the kitchen or on their way to the bathroom. She knew how hopeful her father had gotten. Lavender had noticed that flaw in him a long time ago; any sign of improvement in any way lifted his hopes.

She knew he thought she was mending. In truth, Lavender wasn't mending. She wasn't unraveling either. She just survived. Lavender put enough effort to keep herself alive, nothing less, nothing more. Nothing got better; nothing got worse, that's what she thought, anyways. She didn't know that numbing the pain really doesn't help at all. Without realizing, letting herself be was dragging her under more than anyone could ever realize.

She hadn't really thought about her father's offer to go to Hogwarts. Although many people didn't realize, she was a good person. Lavender loved fiercely, so fiercely she was thought to be obsessive. She loved her father so fiercely she really was torn by his question. Lavender didn't know if she should let her father live on that false hope he saw conveyed, as she noticed him gripping on it like a drug. She didn't know if she should let herself stay in her shell and not even attempt to get better. There was no right thing to do here.

That's why on a morning just like any other morning, not any brighter, not any sadder, her father knocked on her door and she made a decision, that although she didn't know it, would change her forever.

**AN: Yes, I realize this is an incredibly short chapter. Don't worry. I needed a placeholder and I felt like doing a cliffhanger. Please review. I don't care if you tell me I'm the worst writer ever, I just want a review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I haven't had a good, long amount of time to write. These next two chapters are probably the most important chapters in the whole story, the backbone of the whole thing, so I wanted a long time to write, no cutting corners! **

**Bullet With Butterfly Wings by Smashing Pumpkins inspired this chapter.**

**Disclaimer- I am not, nor will I ever be, JK Rowling.**

**-888-**

_**Summary of last chapter: **__Just a placeholder, basically stating that Lavender has a huge decision facing her, intending to cause some suspense!_

**-888-**

Though the house was silent, Lavender's head wasn't. Her brain was buzzing with questions. Her head was pulsing, her conscious had been waging a war with itself for the last couple of days.

"_Him or you, who is more important?_" her thoughts taunted restlessly, day and night.

The house's silence had finally come to an end one day, when Lavender's father slowly creaked her door open, and he peeked his face into her room.

"_Him or you? Him or you? Him or you?_" Lavender thought. Her thoughts pulsed, unceasing, and she kept thinking those three words.

"Hey Lav. I'm going to Hogwarts to help rebuild, are you up to coming?" he questioned, while Lavender kept thinking.

The second the question he asked was over, Lavender's thought trained on the one word. "_Him, him, him, him. He's more important than some torn-up, battle-worn chew toy. You need to do some good, stop feeling sorry for yourself. This messed up world doesn't revolve around you,_"her thoughts satirized.

"I'm loads better. I'll go with you, Dad," she responded, sounding falsely thrilled.

It was lucky he didn't recognize the unsure tone her voice let on. He grinned and said, "Alright! I'll bet all your friends miss you so much! Get ready, I'll be waiting in the kitchen."

He walked out, and Lavender collapsed onto her bed. She had a sick feeling in the bottom of her stomach; the one you get when you know something horrible is going to happen. With every step that took her closer to Hogwarts, closer to the view of others, she felt sicker and sicker.

Lavender put on her clothes: jeans and a long t-shirt to cover the scars on her arms. She slipped on her shoes and went to the bathroom to fix her hair.

"Almost ready?" her father called.

"Almost," Lavender responded.

She walked across the hall and saw her dad. He had a giddy smile on his face. Her heart felt a quick shock of happiness. Her father was happy again, the best part being it was because of _her_.

"_Maybe you _can_ get better! You want to, and you will. You deserve to be happy, Lavender. You will be happy. You're going to Hogwarts; you'll see all of your friends. A week wasted feeling sorry for yourself, the rest of your weeks will be filled with friends and family, fun and laughter! You can be normal. You _are_ normal. You _are_ more than that battle-worn chew toy,_" she thought giddily.

Her mind kept shooting words of encouragement at her, causing the sick feeling in her stomach to go away slightly. She reached the end of the hall and slipped into the bathroom. Lavender turned on the light and looked at the mirror. The sick feeling came back to her stomach, and screamed out of fear.

"Lavender! What's wrong? All you all right?" her dad shouted as he ran down the hall.

"_Him, him, him!_" her mind yelled.

"Yeah. Sorry, it was nothing," Lavender stated, shaking her head.

Her father looked confused. "Really?"

"Really," she nodded.

He nodded and turned his heel and walked calmly to the spot he had occupied a few moments ago.

Lavender shut the door behind him, took a deep breath, and turned slowly to look at herself again in the mirror, not allowing herself to scream. It would be harder to be happy than she thought.

Those angry cuts and bite marks didn't only cover her arms and torso, which she could see on herself, but skated up to her forehead, following a path from her neck up to her hairline. The cuts on her cheek were angry and red as they held the appearance that they were caressing her cheek. The gashes looked fresher than ever. She took a finger and traced the lines up her neck and finishing at her scalp.

Lavender thought she could skate away from the 'chew toy' analogy of herself by not leaving without long-sleeved shirts on, but she realized now she would always get weird looks, always looked at with pity because she was covered waist-up in those marks, which would never leave.

Lavender always valued looks; her personality was always misjudged, so she hung onto her curls and long lashes like a lifeline. She could still hang on to her curls and lashes, but they couldn't be her lifeline anymore. They were pushed back in significance because the angry red gashes always would be brighter than golden yellow curls.

Lavender found her makeup bin and took a glob of foundation and rubbed it into her skin. The liquid stuck in the valleys of her scars. It skated down and caused the makeup to burn her face with agonizing heat. Her eyes began to water. It felt as if her face was radiating the heat of a small fire. She quickly washed it off, and noticed that she had fresh new blood on her face. Pus was oozing from the scars. She wiped face with the towel.

Lavender was careful not to promote any new bleeding. She noticed her eyelids had no harsh cuts, just ones that had already healed but stayed etched into her skin. She lightly put makeup on her eye and added a bit of color to her lips. She was ashamed of her scars and how horrible they looked.

She pushed her curls in front of her face to cover up the gruesome scars. She walked with utmost composure to her room, took a hooded jacket, and covered her face.

Lavender walked back to her father, face burning with shame.

"Why is your hair like that? And why are you wearing so many clothes?" he asked, standing up. He pushed her hood down and lifted her hair back, and gasped.

"Why didn't you tell me I looked so horrible?" asked Lavender.

"You didn't! Can you explain to me why your cuts are bleeding again?"

"I tried to cover them."

He sighed. "I always said that makeup wasn't any good. Come on, we'll talk to Madame Pomfrey to fix them."

"But," she began, then remembering, "_Him, him, him!_"

"Let's go," she said.

She pushed her hair forwards and covered herself with the hood again. Lavender grabbed her daddy's hand and they apparated to Hogwarts, the sick feeling getting sicker from spiraling through the air to Hogwarts.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: This chapter is inspired by Iris written by the Goo Goo Dolls.**

**Thank you to iheartweasleytwins, Lucille, vi, OMG, and LOSTcharlie-claireLOST for reviewing the last 2 chapters. Anybody else who reviewed and I forgot to mention, a special thanks to you! It would be really helpful for those who reviewed without an account to make one, so I can thank you directly. **

**-888-**

Disclaimer- I do not, nor will I ever, own Harry Potter.

**-888-**

_Summary of last chapter- Lavender agrees to visit Hogwarts with her father. She notices particularly horrible scars across her face. She makes her way back to her past best friend, the makeup bin. The makeup causes her face to bleed, as it's not fully healed yet. Her father rushes her off to Madame Pomfrey. _

**-888-**

_Iris- Goo Goo Dolls_

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's meant to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that aren't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's meant to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

**-888-**

Two blurred shapes were hurling into the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts. The majority of the portraits on the wall were dozing, and the ones awake held no interest in the shapes spinning towards the ground. Witches and wizards apparated in here multiple times a day since the war.

Lavender hit the ground with a loud thud. She stood and dusted herself off. Remembering her scars and the reason her stomach felt so upset, she anxiously covered her face with the hood she was wearing before scanning her surroundings. They had arrived in the Headmaster's office, which had no human presences save Lavender and her father. Her face still felt as if someone had set a fire on her pale, marred skin. The magical makeup felt like it was sinking further into her flesh.

Lavender had never been in the Headmaster's office before. Lavender stared at the portraits adorning the wall. The remaining Headmasters and Headmistresses who remained awake looked at her with pity. Lavender angrily pushed forward her hood and looked down. She couldn't even look at a painting without someone treating her as if she was _different._

Different. She hated that word. Most people tried their whole lives to be _different_. They've always been accepted by anyone and everyone, not knowing what it's like to see the mix of repulsion and pity that adorns the faces of the 'normal' when you're different. They don't realize what a curse it is to be unlike everybody.

"Miss Brown?" a happy and familiar voice questioned softly.

Lavender turned her face slowly, not moving the hood. Her eyes came in contact with bright, twinkling blue eyes, who belonged to the voice. She scanned the rest of the portrait, observing Professor Dumbledore, the wisest man Lavender had ever met.

"Hello, Professor," Lavender mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

"I've heard you fought valiantly during the battle. Thank you. You are a true Gryffindor," he complimented.

"Thank you, Professor," said Lavender half-heartedly.

"Oh, and dear Benjamin Brown, too. I haven't spoken with you for years! I trust you've been staying out of trouble?" said Dumbledore.

Her father blushed. "Nice seeing you as well, Headmaster," he stated.

Lavender remembered the pain in her face and the reason they had come here so suddenly.

"Daddy? Let's go to Madame Pomfrey, my face still hurts," begged Lavender.

"I almost forgot!" he said to Lavender.

He turned to the previous Headmaster. "Looks like we've got to visit Madame Pomfrey. It was nice seeing you, Headmaster."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled and he smiled. "See you both soon," he spoke.

Lavender fixed her hood and grabbed her father's hand. They made their way down the staircase and exited past the stone gargoyle. Lavender nervously walked behind her dad, hiding her face from view. They walked through the corridor, which was almost empty. Nobody who wished to speak with her was there.

They walked silently for a few minutes until arriving at the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey was there, shuffling through medical papers, no doubt a list of injuries from the Battle.

As she noticed them, she said, "Shame. I thought I was done with injuries for sometime. What have you been doing? Killing Dark Wizards? Falling hundreds of feet off of a broomstick?"

"No, Madame Pomfrey," Lavender said quietly. She pulled back her hood and pushed her hair out of her face.

Madame Pomfrey looked at her face in disapproval. "Come, come. Sit down here," she said, leading her to a bed. Her father took his place at a chair near the bed.

As Madame Pomfrey muttered about needing to listen to her if students ever wanted to get better, she strode across the room, closing the curtains behind her.

"She hasn't changed much, has she?" asked her father.

Lavender shook her head. The curtains were pulled back in one swift motion. Madame Pomfrey had a cup of a ghastly smelling green potion, a tub of magical ointment and a small, moist cloth.

"Here," she stated, holding the potion out for Lavender to drink. "This should lower the pain."

Lavender shuddered as she drank the potion. It tasted almost as bad as it looked. Her faced burned from embarrassment that she caused the pain, as well as embarrassment that Madame Pomfrey could see her face. Lavender's face hurt less, as if the potion was pulling the pain out. It was as if someone had stopped the fire that was steadily burning her flesh. She handed the empty goblet to her father, who set it on the table.

Madame Pomfrey then began fixing Lavender's wounds. She hung above her like a hawk, scouting out the worst places and rinsing the bits of makeup she hadn't been able to get out by herself. Madame Pomfrey dabbed Lavender's face with the washcloth, in careful strokes with the skill of a healer. When Madame Pomfrey was satisfied with the amount of makeup left, she put the washcloth aside and took the tub of ointment out. She unscrewed the jar and stuck her finger in the gooey mess that would heal Lavender's face.

"Miss Brown, before I let you leave my care, I gave you a tub just like this and asked you to put it on your face. Have you used it?" Madame Pomfrey inquired.

Lavender was suddenly reminded of the small tin, laying forgotten on the floor with hand mirrors, broken glass and piles of clothes that had not been considered suitable for the new, damaged Lavender.

"I forgot about it," Lavender muttered.

"Well, I'm sure it would be best for all of us if you didn't forget in the future, Miss Brown," chastised the nurse.

"I'm sorry, Madame," Lavender whispered.

Madame Pomfrey looked at her with pity. Whether the pity was linked to the werewolf bites, the scars, or the fact that she would never be normal, Lavender didn't know. All she knew is that she was incredibly embarrassed and wished she had never agreed to coming. That voice inside her head that convinced her to come was suddenly changing its course.

"_He would have understood, Lavender. He wants you to take your time at getting better."_

Madame Pomfrey then instructed her on using the ointment. "Put it on your fingertips, then rub it in," she said, holding out the tin for Lavender to dip her fingers in. "Make sure to be generous. If you run out, feel free to owl me, I will send you some extra. Remember, you'll have the scars forever, but you need to allow them to heal. When they are free of infection, maybe you could put the makeup on them."

Lavender nodded. She still felt the horrible feeling in her stomach. She had been clinging on to the invisible hope that her face would heal, and she would be as jaw-droopingly beautiful as before. She now knew she would look like that battle-torn chew-toy forever. Even if she tried to cover them up, the makeup would settle into the gashes and she would look worse than before.

Lavender was angry with Madame Pomfrey. She knew deep down that she was doing everything in her power to assist her, but the nurse spoke like she understood her. Madame Pomfrey thought it was simple, having to walk around with those ugly marks on her face. She spoke as if she knew what it was like, losing all your self-confidence, the second you regain consciousness after being attacked by a werewolf. She acted like she knew what it was like to be a_ monster_.

She looked at her with pity, like Lavender was the victim. She was not the only victim. Everybody fighting in the war was a victim; she didn't need to be looked at like she was never going to be better. She didn't need them to be sorry for her. She needed them to reassure her that everything would be fine, and every pity glance, every look of disgust made her lose every ounce of hope that once resided in her brain, that lived in her heart.

Lavender pushed all of those thoughts to the side and said, "Thank you, Madame. I'm truly grateful. You've been such a great help."

Madame Pomfrey smiled. "Thank you, dear. Tell your friends to stay away from dangerous things, I finally want some peace in my office."

"Alright," Lavender said.

"Again, thank you, Madame Pomfrey," thanked Lavender's father.

"It was my pleasure, Mr. Brown. Glad to see you again," Madame Pomfrey replied.

Madame Pomfrey turned and walked back to her medical papers she had been studying when they had arrived.

"Alright, Lav! Let's go help repair this dump!" her father exclaimed.

Lavender fixed her hood. Her anger had not subsided. In fact, it had grown. She was not just angry with Madame Pomfrey. She was angry with her father for realizing how she would not be able to handle being here. She was angry at the world for reasons that had nothing to do with them.

Her anger burned the most for Fenrir Greyback, who deserved the anger. He deserved every possible piece of hell that could possibly fly his way, every hardship, every suffering. She wanted him to feel what she felt. She wanted him to suffer, to be tortured, to feel everything she had felt. Lavender wanted him to feel these things as much as she wanted to repair herself, to be able to live again, almost as much as she wanted everyone to know who she was.

Lavender wasn't a shallow, giggly girl anymore. She was a grown woman, who felt pain, lived pain, and breathed pain, more than anyone else her age. She suffered through loss, through the hardships of war. Lavender had seen people join the side of evil, more people fight against the side of evil. She'd seen lives been taken unfairly, and heard of lives taken by the people who lived them. She'd felt remorse, regret, suffering. These people who looked at her image, saw only the scars and didn't look beyond, they knew nothing about her.

Lavender didn't need pity. She pitied herself, true, but those looks of artificial compassion from others felt like someone was healing her werewolf bites and bringing Greyback to do it again.


	7. Chapter 7

_Broken (ft. Amy Lee)- Seether Lyrics_

Because I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You're gone away

You don't feel me here anymore

**-888-**

Lavender gripped her father's hand tighter. She could not let go; she would not let go. Words of criticism and words of worry pulsed her brain. Her mind was buzzing, she couldn't think straight. The sound of crunching rubble was heard every time she took a step. She wondered how much damage had been inflicted upon the castle after she had been knocked unconscious. Lavender truly wanted to open her eyes and look, but the truth was, she was frightened.

Lavender was frightened of most everything now. She was scared to face the fact that her school had been destroyed. Lavender was terrified that nobody would ever love her again, because she was a monster. She was scared that her friends would all wear identical disgusted faces when she pulled back her hood and showed them what war could truly do and inflict on a person. She was afraid of being worthless and alone. With the way things had been moving along lately, her worst fear would come true. She would grow old alone, with her scars still visible, etched among her wrinkled, depressed face.

Lavender trusted her father to guide her through the castle. They moved up staircases, swerved around corners, making their way to the Great Hall. Lavender needed to remind herself that she was a Gryffindor; she was brave. No matter how scared Lavender might be, she was a brave and she _faced_ her fears. Slightly shaking, she opened her eyes slightly and peeked through the corner of her eye.

There, her second home lay broken. The walls were torn down; large pieces of rubble lay on the floor. The magnificent structure lay broken and dead on the ground. This building was a huge part of her life, and with it standing mangled and destroyed; she couldn't help but to think it was her fault. If only she was braver, better, stronger or smarter this ancient building could have been preserved. 'This is where my friend died. This is where first years were tortured. This is where _I_ was tortured,' Her brain was thinking uncontrollably.

She saw eyes, as well. A flood of eyes entered her brain. Cheerful green eyes. Hopeless blue eyes. Fierce brown eyes. Desperate black eyes. Vicious, rabid yellow werewolf eyes. And at this moment, she felt as if every one of them was trained on her.

Lavender shut her eyes quickly again. Tears began to well in her eyes. A small choking sound made it's way to her ears, and Lavender realized it was her own voice. She quickly took her free arm and wiped away the tears. She gritted her teeth and refused to cry any longer. Mr. Brown turned to her to see what was wrong, but before she could respond to his questioning face, she covered her face in her dad's shoulder. He steered her through the corridors, not abandoning his slight worry, gliding around blocks of rubble. Eventually, he dropped her arm, which caused her to assume that they were in the Great Hall. Lavender removed her face from her father's arm, but did not lift her eyes.

"Mr. Brown! Finally decided to help reconstruct, I presume?" a voice that could only belong to Professor McGonagall barked.

He grinned. "Better late then never, Professor. What do you need help with?"

"Go over there, Benjamin, and help Professor Sprout fix the gardens and greenhouses. I'm sure you'll see a few familiar faces. I assume you haven't lost your flair for Herbology, have you?" the professor questioned.

"No, ma'am. And what should Lavender do?"

Lavender felt Professor McGonagall's eyes watching her through her curved spectacles. The professor probably could not see her, but that did not stop Lavender from turning a bright shade of red under her hood. McGonagall must have known what happened, so she was lenient.

"Let her go where she pleases. She may assist you, but many children from her house are working near here. She may work with them, if she pleases."

Lavender tugged her father's hand in the direction of the greenhouses. He shrugged and followed.

"Miss Brown?" the sharp voice asked.

"Yes?" Lavender's voice sounded small as she turned.

"It is good to have you back," Professor McGonagall said.

"Thank you, Professor."

Lavender turned around and followed her father swiftly. Lavender did not grasp his had this time; instead, she clutched her fist. The girl walked quickly and briskly, so she didn't have to face her friends and the memories that surged through the hall. Thoughts flowed through Lavender's mind and she was surprised by a sudden thud and a tight squeeze against her body, with a force that made her hood fly backwards. Lavender had not been held this tightly for a long time, and she was frightened. She felt trapped, suffocated, like Greyback was on top of her again. The arms were released from her body.

Lavender cautiously lifted her eyes to survey the person who hugged her; just to be sure it wasn't Greyback. Lavender's eyes met pleasant, twinkling blue eyes that could only belong to one person. She surveyed the rest of his face, and he looked incredibly happy, as if the war never happened. Seamus looked so content, his face looked like it would break from the huge smile he gave her, like there was nothing more he would like to do than gaze at her. Lavender hadn't felt that special in a long time. She couldn't help it, she grinned.

Seamus's face was still worn and he still looked damaged from the Carrows, cuts were still across his face.

Lavender remembered her own face, and looked down. She pulled her hood up, and knew her complexion was changing from that creamy white to bright red. She gazed at the floor and whispered, "Hello, Seamus."

"Hello! Blimey, Lav! I haven't seen you in a long time! How have you been holding up?" he asked excitedly.

"I'm fine, how are you?" Lavender responded politely.

"I'm really great. It's fantastic to see you! Parvati! Dean!" he called.

A tall, dark boy came strolling down the hall, near an Indian girl with a long, black plait down her back.

"Lav, Parvati has spoken about nothing except for you this last week. She's wanted to see you for a while, Dean as well," Seamus informed her.

When the two saw Lavender from a reasonable distance, they started to run towards her, smiles almost as big as Seamus'. They made their way to Lavender. They were running quickly, their vision obscured by the quick pace. Parvati finally reached Lavender and enveloped her in a quick hug. Lavender allowed herself to look upwards, as Seamus seemed accepting, so maybe Parvati would look at her face with the same ignorance.

As Parvati pulled back, her eyes widened and her face mutated to the visage of the sympathetic. Lavender was ashamed; she was on the verge of tears. Her worst fears had come true- her best friend was sorry for her. Parvati was surely _ashamed_, wasn't she? Who had a marred, part-werewolf freak as their best friend? As had become routine, Lavender pulled the hood back over her head. She looked at Dean, and saw he and Parvati shared the same expression. Lavender was terrified. She stayed rooted to her spot, looking to the ground. She was sure that her dad had left, seeing that she had found her friends. Lavender was working hard to keep from crying; she was trying her absolute best to stay strong.

After a few moments, it was Dean who broke the silence, "Lavender, what's wrong?"

Lavender could not contain herself any longer. What did Dean mean, 'what's wrong?' It was obvious, wasn't it? Especially to him and Parvati. By the way they looked at her, they knew exactly what was wrong. Lavender burst into tears, Seamus shot a look at Dean, who looked incredibly guilty. Parvati and Seamus reached out to console Lavender, but the damage was done. Besides, Lavender couldn't be touched any longer. She did what she was best at, running away. She ran through the Great Hall, bumping into a few workers. Lavender sprinted up the stairs, and didn't stop until she reached the girls' lavatories, a place any Hogwarts girl went to mope. She rushed to the furthermost stall, ran in, locked the door, and collapsed, sobs shaking her body. Her bottle of ointment rolled out her pocket and remained forgotten on the floor.

Lavender sat there alone for a few minutes, trying to make sense of the situation. Thoughts, phrases and faces collided, making any straight thinking impossible. Soon, the sound of footsteps came near, and they landed themselves right in front of Lavender's stall.

"Alohamora," an accented voice said.

Seamus' sandy head came into view. Without permission, he sat himself down directly next to Lavender's trembling body. Lavender made an effort to contain herself, to no avail.

In her fragile state, she could not control her mind. She thought back to the Great Hall, the destroyed corridors, and dead bodies, dead friends, and dead families. Curses flying everywhere in the air, collisions of red and green, almost like fireworks, but much more deadly. Bodies flying, falling, disintegrating. Lavender started having difficulty breathing; each breath was difficult to get out. They were loud, shaky, and obviously caused for some worry. Lavender could faintly hear Seamus' voice worriedly asking her if she was all right. Without warning, she lifted her body and quickly put her face to the toilet, and in good time, because she began vomiting all contents of her stomach. Seamus quickly kneeled upward, shocked, and responded by pulling her hair out of her face with one hand, and with the other patting her back. When she was done retching, she collapsed back on the floor and wiped her mouth with her sleeve. After a minute or so, she spoke to Seamus in a choked voice.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Seamus asked.

"For staying here. For following me back up here. For being strong, I suppose."

Seamus shrugged. "I did what any good friend would do. Anyways, I get to spend more time with you this way," he said, a hint of familiar mischief in his voice.

Lavender choked on her sob again. Why couldn't she be strong? The tears kept coming like they always did, except this time Seamus was there. Sensing that something was wrong, Seamus wrapped his arms around Lavender. Considering what she'd been through, Lavender truly could not take any more touching. She removed herself quickly from his arms, and looked at him with scared, blotchy eyes, still dripping with tears. Somehow, Seamus understood what she was feeling, and his arms down. Instead, he grabbed her hand, which reassured Lavender that someone was still there. No words were uttered, but Lavender felt immensely better. Seamus took notice of the ointment on the ground and slipped it into his pocket.

Soon, Parvati and Dean arrived, accompanied by Mr. Brown, who after took noticed of his daughter, kneeled next to her quickly.

"Sorry it took so long to find Mr. Brown, Seamus," Parvati said.

"He's here now," said Seamus, standing up.

"Sorry, Lavender, for what I said," Dean muttered.

"It's alright," mumbled Lavender.

She adjusted her hood and grabbed her father's hand. They all walked out of the bathroom, ignoring the looks they received from girls in the lavatory. They parted ways, Seamus, Parvati, and Dean walking towards the Great Hall, undoubtedly whispering about that day's fiascos, Lavender and her dad walking towards the Great Hall, to floo back home.

"Lavender, you weren't ready to come. Why did you lie? I just want what's best for you," Lavender's father said gently.

"I thought it would make you feel better," Lavender admitted.

"I'll feel better when you do," he responded.

They arrived in the Headmaster's office again, but this time, Lavender ignored the calls of her late headmaster, took a pinch of floo powder, and jumped, allowing the green flames to consume her once again.


	8. Chapter 8

"I promised Professor McGonagall that I would go help," the man said.

Lavender nodded.

"And I'm not letting you go back for a while," he continued.

Lavender nodded again. She was expecting it, anyways. She'd have to find new ways to assure her father she was doing better.

"Obviously, you need Madame Pomfrey," Mr. Brown said, referring to Lavender's ill state, "I'll help, and I'll ask her to come see what the problem is. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Thanks, dad. If you see Dean, Parvati, or Seamus, can you tell them that I'm sorry for what happened?

He was about to protest that it wasn't her fault, but held back at the last minute.

"Sure, Lav. I'll tell them," he agreed, and walked out the door.

Lavender was finally left alone. After the events of yesterday, she couldn't imagine leaving the house or seeing anyone except her father for quite a while. Shame had almost completely consumed her.

Sometime over the night, she had taken ill. No sickness she'd ever heard of or ever had matched the illness she was suffering. It seemed foreign to her father as well. No medicine they tried could cure it, and the tough plague stayed. Mr. Brown was to send Madame Pomfrey at the end of the day to see what was happening with Lavender.

Lavender's fever was incredibly high, but still, she couldn't stop shivering. Every limb ached, and she couldn't move. Lavender eventually decided it was best to remain stationary on the couch, and attempt to fall asleep.

The attempt prevailed, and soon enough, she was asleep, beginning to dream.

_Suddenly, Lavender woke up, but it was a strange sensation. She still felt as if she were sleeping. Quickly, she realized that she didn't feel ill. With this reassuring feeling, she pushed herself off the couch, but she felt considerably lighter. When she looked back down at the couch, she saw her body lying there. It was completely odd, and Lavender wasn't sure what to think. Suddenly, Lavender heard a familiar whisper dancing across her ear, and she promptly decided to follow the voice. Abandoning her shame, she walked through the front door to greet the mysterious speaker. The words were not clear to her yet, but she knew she needed to hear them. Every step drew her closer, and after a few desperate twists and turns, Lavender realized she was in an unfamiliar area. After tromping aimlessly through the corridors, she arrived at a familiar place. With a sudden shock, she realized that it was the Great Hall, specifically: the spot where her world crumbled._

_The voice spoke louder now, with a deep, growling voice. It was Greyback- she knew it. She had to escape. He couldn't ruin her again. She turned and ran, through the halls, trying to find someone to save her. She kept going, but she was alone. The castle was empty besides her and the taunting voice. The corridors kept twisting and leading her back to the same spot in the Great Hall. _

_Lavender couldn't. There was not anything she could do. Frustrated, she collapsed on the ground. Maybe Greyback was gone, and she was just trapped. Suddenly, she heard slow footsteps. Lavender stumbled and tried to run, but the room became smaller and smaller until she was caught in a small, doorless and windowless room with a shadow. The shadow came closer and closer, until it dived down to take a bite of flesh…_

Lavender could hear screaming when she woke up. After a few moments, she realized it was her own. After a few shallow, fast breaths, Lavender still could not calm down. Mrs. Brown had always made a cup of tea for her daughter after particularly wearing nightmares, and it had always helped. Shaking, Lavender got to her feet and made her way to the kitchen.

Shakily, she filled the kettle and placed it on the stove. She remembered how caring her mother had been. Beautiful and kind; firm, but still loving. She remembered her mother's graceful hands as they added in the tea leaves, always preferring to do it the muggle way, something she'd learned from her closest muggle-born friends.

"There's no reason to whip out your wand for every little thing," her mother would say, when Lavender asked why she didn't use magic all the time like daddy. "Sometimes it's nice to relax and do something slowly."

Lavender wished her mother could be here now. Lavender wanted her mother to come and make everything all better. She wanted her to come and take away all her scars, to make her mind right again.

Tears were threatening to make an appearance. Through everything, Lavender hadn't shed a single tear for her mother. Every tear that left was weeping for lost beauty, for self-pity, or for the unnecessary cruelness of the world. Not one dropped for her mother's lost life, nor her father's struggle to cope with his insane, broken daughter alone.

The kettle started to ring loudly, quickly pulling Lavender out of the depths of her complex mind. She was shaky when she grabbed a mug from the cabinet and slowly began to pour the steaming water into the cup. Suddenly, a loud knocking of the door startled Lavender and caused her to drop the kettle on the floor, water spilling everywhere. The burning water touching flesh made Lavender jump, and she managed to knock over the mug, which now lay in broken pieces over the kettle and the mess of water she'd made.

Lavender had bent over with a towel and prepared to clean the mess she had made, when the knocking came again. With a sigh, she got up and made her way to the door, not sure if she could face whoever was on the other side.


	9. Chapter 9

"_Tell me that you want me because I love you so much, tell me that you love me because I need you so much, tell me that you need me because I love you so much." Bring Me the Horizon- Don't Go_

With a deep breath and a sudden jolt of courage, Lavender Brown pulled the door open.

On the other side, a lopsided grin and a mop of sandy hair met her.

"Hello, Seamus," Lavender spoke, avoiding eye contact.

"Hello," Seamus spoke, his smile slowly fading as he noticed her pale face. "Are you alright? You look a bit ill," he offered.

"Well, I am feeling a bit sick," Lavender replied.

"I heard a crash from inside, too. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just dropped something."

"Oh."

"Well, would you like to come in?" Lavender asked stepping out of the doorway and into her house.

"Sure," Seamus replied, following her in.

Lavender pointed to the couch. "You can sit there for a moment, I just have to clean the cup I dropped."

Seamus sat down. As Lavender started making her way to the kitchen, she turned around and saw Seamus looking at his knees and grinning to himself. A ghost of a smile appeared on Lavender's face when she realized just how much she'd missed him and how happy she was that he'd come to see her.

After she'd cleaned the mess she'd made, Lavender came back to Seamus with a new mug of tea. She sat down on the chair opposite where he was sitting.

Seamus was smiling at her.

"So, I brought you something," he said.

"Really?" Lavender questioned. "What is it?"

Seamus grinned and pulled out the container of medicine Madame Pomfrey had given Lavender. He then tossed it to her. "You forgot it yesterday, so I put it upon myself to return it to you."

"Thanks," Lavender mumbled. She'd forgotten about her bites for a moment, until now. Seeing Seamus had distracted her from the true problem.

"What's wrong, Lavender?" Seamus questioned with a worried look on his face.

"Nothing. I just feel a bit sick is all," Lavender shook her head.

"Oh, well. Okay," Seamus said.

"Excuse me for a moment," Lavender replied. She'd begun to feel very sick, so she ran quickly to the washroom. She arrived just in time to retch her breakfast into the toilet. Seamus heard the noise and came running.

Seamus lifted her hair away from the toilet and patted her back. When Lavender emptied all the contents of her stomach, she sat up and wiped her mouth.

"It seems like I can't stop thanking you," Lavender joked.

Seamus kneeled in front of her. "It was my pleasure," he said, looking her in the eye.

Lavender blushed and looked away. Her face wasn't as much of a sight as it used to be.

"Well, I'm sorry that you have to come when I'm ill," she offered.

"It's fine. Now I can take care of you until your dad gets home," he answered.

"You don't have to," Lavender declined. "I can just go to bed. I'll be fine."

"But I _want _to," Seamus replied, taking her hand and helping her up.

So, Lavender led the way to her bedroom. Seamus looked around, and took notice of the broken mirror that Lavender had forgotten. His suspicions about Lavender's disturbed feelings began. Lavender saw him looking at it, and she began to blush. She really didn't want to discuss the mirror with him now. So, instead, she climbed under the covers and closed her eyes.

"Don't go to sleep yet!" Seamus exclaimed. "I just got you in my care. You need some tea, and some proper care. I'll be right back."

As he walked out the door, Lavender sighed. She wondered if Seamus still loved her. Who would? He probably only came because he felt sorry for her. But, the worst part of the whole thing is that Lavender was certain that she loved him, even if he couldn't stand her anymore.

Lavender loved him enough to let him go. She knew that they could never be together. She could see the future vividly: Seamus walking far away from her in public so that nobody thought that they were together. His mother criticizing him for his choice in a wife, because he could pick someone whole and beautiful. _Her_ feeling so guilty for robbing him of the chance to have a normal life. Their children being ashamed of their mother because she was a monster. She couldn't do it. She wouldn't do it.

Her thoughts were interrupted by an open door, a cup of tea, a plate of toast, and a smiling Seamus.

"I'll nurse you back to health, Lav. Don't you worry," Seamus said, handing her the tea and toast.

As soon as she'd finished her toast, Lavender realized that she'd need to set Seamus straight. If he was hoping for anything at all, she'd need to tell him the truth so he could move on.

"I need to tell you something important," Lavender said, breaking the silence.

"Seamus, there's no use in pretending that I didn't get attacked. There's no use in pretending that I'm not hideous and covered in scars. And, there's no point in pretending that you still care for me. _I_ don't even care for me."

Seamus looked at her seriously.

"Why would you even think that, Lavender? You did get attacked. So did lots of other people that day. You know," Seamus replied. "those are battle scars. A reminder that you were brave and fought for what was right."

Lavender laughed. "They're not battle scars and I'm not brave. They show a girl that was to dumb and too weak to protect herself."

"Never say that. You are the smartest and strongest person I know."

"You must not know that many people, then."

"And let's get something straight. I _do_ care for you. Nothing could make me stop caring for you. You have to believe that," Seamus said, pulling Lavender into a hug.

Lavender hugged him back. She just needed some comfort. She could tell that Seamus was smiling into her hair. She had known that he was never realistic. Anyways, he'd notice eventually that he couldn't live with her. Yes, she'd wait for him to realize that he didn't love her.

How did she manage to have someone like Seamus? He deserved someone that he could be happy with.

When she was done crying, Seamus looked her in they eye and said, "Lav, you know that I love you, don't you?"

Lavender nodded. She did know, and that was the worst part.

"Well, why don't you rest? I'll stay until your dad comes," he spoke, sitting down in a chair next to her bed.

Lavender closed her eyes, and drifted off into sleep.

_There was a snarling noise of a werewolf behind Lavender, so she ran. Far away, she heard voices of people she loved calling her name. She ran towards the voices, because she knew that they could protect her. Her mother and father, Seamus, and Parvati stood in a room._

"_I'm so glad that you all are here! A werewolf is chasing me, and I need help!" Lavender gasped._

"_Sorry, Lavender," her mother's voice said tauntingly, a sound alien to her._

"_We won't help you," her father said, equally condescending._

"_We won't waste our breath on _you_," Parvati sneered._

"_Lavender, you're just not worth saving," Seamus taunted. "You don't deserve it."_

"_But Greyback is almost here! He'll kill me! Please…"_

"_Sorry, Lavender," they all hissed. _

_With a heavy thud from behind and a snarl, Lavender was victim of the evil werewolf once again._

Lavender shot up from her sleep with a gasp. Seamus was quickly jolted out of his daydream world. "What's the matter?"

"Bad dream," she got out.

"Oh, okay. You alright?"

Lavender nodded. "I don't think I'll go back to sleep."

"Understandable," Seamus said.

Just then, a knock came on Lavender's door, and her father entered, followed by Madame Pomfrey.

"Hello, Seamus," Mr. Brown said. Madame Pomfrey offered a nod.

"Hello, Mr. Brown. Hello Madame. Well, now that you two are here, I guess I can be going," Seamus said. "Good bye. See you later, Lav."

"Bye, Seamus," Lavender said in a small voice.

"Thanks for coming to take care of her," thanked Mr. Brown.

"Anytime," Seamus grinned as he walked out the door.

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed._

_Also, first time at romance. I am so sorry if that was too cliché. _


End file.
